In spite of all the blessings we have experienced and continue to enjoy in the present, the last couple years have been really challenging for us, 2013 being an absolute whopper of a year: unpleasant pregnancy symptoms (nausea for the first 20 weeks and then heartburn and other problems for the last 20+ weeks); moving; new work endeavor for Brett; renting out our former home; busting two of my toes one month after having Grace, etc. We often half-kid that 2013 may have taken a few years off our lives.
2014 has been a mixed bag of lots and lots of sickness, no short supply of rental property problems, church problems, loooong work hours for Brett and long days for me, a very long winter and cool summer, a few car problems, yet we've had many good days and memories made like family visiting in the summer; visiting family in the fall...
Brett has shouldered so much of our burdens. He takes care of the rental property, and even did extra as the rental property company we hired seems to be experiencing growing pains, and has dropped the ball in helping us in so many ways. He works long hours at work - not because he's a workaholic, but rather because there is SO much to do. He got so many sinus infections and colds over the year. I am always trying to think of ways I can take more off of his plate, but when I take care of the girls full-time, it's hard. Sometimes all I can do is make him food, encourage him, pray for him, ask him what extra things he needs for me to do so that he doesn't have to worry about it, etc.
In the last few weeks, Brett has been experiencing a fluttering palpitation in his chest. After this went on for a few days, he got an appointment with a doctor. After a clear EKG and normal blood work, the doctor wanted to cover all her bases, and suggested Brett wear a heart monitor for 24 hours. Brett picked up the monitor from the hospital Friday and wore it from 4 p.m. Friday through Saturday 4 p.m. In addition to the palpitations, he was experiencing pressure in his chest/sternum area and feeling lightheaded. He told me that something just didn't feel right, so I suggested he call the nurses' line, and then we'd go from there. She suggested that he go to the emergency room. Brett was fairly convinced it was going to be a waste of time, but in the end, "better safe than sorry" was the ruling thought. The nurse also said that he shouldn't drive himself to the hospital, so my dad drove him there, and I hung out with the girls at my parents' house. This was on Saturday afternoon. After dinner time, Gracie was getting tired, so I drove the girls back to our house to put them to bed. Brett was at the ER for 5 hours total, and they released him at 10:30 p.m. My dad brought him home. The doctor did an EKG, blood draw, chest x-ray. He told Brett he tested twice for heart attack and everything looks completely normal. He said it's most likely anxiety-related. This comes as a surprise to me because Brett is one of the most laid back people I know. He takes stress in stride pretty well, but this incident has been a wake-up call for both of us. My husband is suffering the effects of stress, and I really want to help him. This may mean we say "no" to more things and that we put rest as a priority. That we accept not getting a bunch of things accomplished on a weekend because we need to rest and take better care of ourselves. I encouraged Brett to get a membership at Massage Envy, so he'll be getting a one-hour massage once a month. He's either going to join a boxing gym or a fitness center for the whole family. I am going to get back on the ball when it comes to cooking healthy and somehow finding ways to get quality rest.
We also need more sleep. Grace continues to wake at least once a night. There have been times she seems to be sleeping better, and then she gets an ear infection or cold, and it messes up her sleep all over again. So frustrating. Brett and I go to bed late (11 is late, right?) and Brett's up at 6:15 and I'm up in between 6:45 and 7 when Grace wakes up. Stella doesn't nap, so I just feel like I am go-go-going all day long. Even when I have babysitting help, it's so that I can be getting things done, which is great, but I never feel like I have a chance to rest or just sit still and not feel guilty. I suppose I'm in the stage of life (which I think will be a long stage!) of always feeling behind and not having enough time to accomplish all that I want to.
I didn't share this with anyone, but last year I resolved to say yes more often, which would lead to pushing myself out of my comfort zone and also experiencing more in life in general. I said yes to hosting two different direct sales parties. I just about died from the anxiety, but I'm glad I did it. We said yes to hosting our home for our church community group, and as a neat freak that is a big deal for me. I said yes to many play dates when sometimes all I wanted to do was stay home. I'm not saying that choosing to say yes instead of no is what did me in, but I need to reassess which yeses are too much for me personally. I want to give of myself and put others first, but if I am feeling depleted to begin with, then I need to find ways to recharge so that I am in a better place of giving...
More to come on this later, I'm sure...
No comments:
Post a Comment